Black to School Night

 

Coming at the ends of this month I'll be talking with some educators and parents for the Black Teachers Project. We'll be talking about parenting during a pandemic and other tings. Tune in. 

If you're not familiar with BTP, check out this video 

Daddy Thoughts 22- Dreamt of arguing, listening

I just woke up from yet another dream that me and my teen were arguing about something. You see, I have some righteous (or so I think) concerns for my boy. One, bee a critical thinker. So, both me, my wife, and his mom often engage him in discussions about race, politics, class, gender, so many things. If I’m being honest though, part of it is because I grew up talking that way with my parents and I’m familiar wit it. I do truly hope that from his family het gets points of views that are different than what main stream movies, media, etc are saying. And I’ve told him I don’t want you to think like me, I want you to take what Im saying and form your own opinion. Having an informed opinion is important, i think.


Two. I really want him to know what it means to work hard and sometimes this desire overlooks the hard work he does do and the fact that the nature of work is changing. I’ve had him cleaning the bathroom, the living room, his room, doing his laundry, taking out the trash, I’ve given him jobs where he can earn money or pay me back for something I bought that he wanted. But sometimes, I can be a little too pushy and demanding. And I’m trying to do better. He sometimes bitches or moans at some extras I make him do and I have to remind myself I did too when I was a kid.


Three. I want him to choose a path forward (after high school) that he’s passionate about. I know at times he’d rather just play video games and stay in his room. And sometimes I forget what it was like to be a teenager and press upon him, adding to the pressure he must feel from all of us and all of it. I don't want him to serve the system of exploiting people though. I've been very vocal about that. Be aware of this or that, challenge this or that. But even I get bored of hearing myself repeat things so I know he must.


I haven’t been complete drill sergeant or a stoic figure who expresses little emotion, comfort, or love. But I have to remind myself to not get too angry when he refuses, gets annoyed, pulls away, or resists; and tell him. Tell him I’m proud of him, that I care for him and that I love him. I want to dismiss the myth that all teenagers are jerks, because they’re not. I do believe they are going through a lot during those years. I remember hormones raging, feeling self conscious, afraid to speak up, and just wanting nothing more than to hang out with my friends, my guys, to laugh, have fun, and make and see dope art in the form of music, graffiti, djing, paintings, so many things. I remember short answers with my parents and just wanting my own space to be free of rules and responsibilities. So I get it. I have to confess that I have let my frustration at perceived inaction get to me at times, and I’m trying to listen. That is ultimately what my dream was about. Forcing him to do something, and instead listening to him tell me how and when he wanted to deal with it. The issue I was mad about was not big, his words were/are.


Ooh, my toddler is awake and she’s demanding attention. If you're a parent who’s been there or afraid of going there, what are your thoughts or advice? Like when do they start eating breakfast again, lol.

Last Daddy Thoughts on Father's rap songs

If you'r new here, this is a series I've been writing for several years off and on about being a dad, co-parent, struggles, triumphs, mistakes, and more human shit. I'm trying every day to be a better dad, husband, co-parent, and human.

Old Art 4 - Treadmill

 

Here's a throwback from this old show in Brooklyn. I feel like the treadmill is not at quite as steep an incline, but still there. This is when I was heavy getting into ink. So much of what we go through in this country as working people is about keeping capitalism going and fighting for the almighty dollar. Sometimes it makes me imagine what would I do if I (we) didn't have to live this way.

If you missed the previous Old Art post, here it is: Big Daddy Kane

Here's an old ink drawing I did of an Afro Pick.

Daddy Thoughts 20 - Other plans

I think there was a saying that if you want to make god laugh, show her/him your plans. I'm probably getting that wrong. But it seems like this entire year has other plans for our plans. Sure some people may just be coasting along like nothing has happened but I think a good majority of the worlds population is adjusting, pivoting, changing, etc.

Take for example my baby girl who is now 20 months old. From the time she was born up until about the age of 1 I stayed home to care for her while Mama worked. Of course I still worked doing what I could at night, in between naps, etc. But she is a fully formed toddler now, asking for things, expressing happiness and discontent. She walks, runs, eats food and spits it out. I thought at the beginning of this year I'm about to make all kinds of new projects in addition to client work, but with childcare closed and our family distancing the time to create and work was cut in half. We're blessed though, making it work. Me and Mama take turns from 8am-5pm. I'm on morning shift, Mama's on afternoon. Trying to work and care for bebe girl has lead to some hilarious moments. Especially since we're potty training. The other day I was answering emails, watching my girl like a hawk for any sign that she might go pee (she had no pants for the first 10 days), all the while making lunch for me and my wife.happened the other day. And as soon as I look away to turn down the stove, season that, she pooped. Haha, right in the middle of the kitchen. So I took a breath, cleaned her, the poop, the floor, my hands, and proceeded to make lunch.

But for my teen, I can't imagine how hard it is. I talk to him regularly and ask him how he's doing. I make sure to check on him and he's in good hands with his Mami. But, leaving the normalcy of the last 12-13 years of seeing other children in school came to a screeching halt. Sure, there's so much that happens nw days over text. I know kids message each other sometimes more than they see one another and that he plays video games and talks to friends via games. But, it is still quite anxiety inducing; this whole culture. I'm lucky he still opens up and shares what makes him happy. We've got a book club going on where we read together. And I try to honestly check out some of the things he shares with me even if I don't understand. And despite all this, he's still doing great on his assigned work. I'm just glad its not his graduating year, or the prom he's missing. I do wish I could encourage him to have his friends over though. Maybe in a few months, I hope.

Me, I'm tired, horny, feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, hungry, contemplative, robotic, and blessed all at the same time. Give thanks that I still have a roof and that there are so many stepping up. Thats it for today.

Here's the last Daddy Thought-Twist and Repeat

Daddy Thoughts 19- Twist and repeat

Happy New year to all you reading this and all my parents or caregivers of little ones. I regularly write 2-3 posts a year on parenting, fatherhood, co-parenting, mistakes, or triumphs. But last year was a blur of raising baby raising. My daughter is now over a year old and in childcare so I have a bit more time to get back to work. So here are a couple of observations going through the baby stages again.

Twist and bend!
I forgot how much you have to twist, turn, and bend to care for little people. Sometimes that is because they cannot move on their own and need your help to get that bottle, nipple, snack, or to burp. I started to remember that certain parts or sides of my body got a lot of use to hold my daughter and my son. When my son was born I actually started stretching regularly because my back got sore from picking him up or holding him. I'm better at it now, but I still feel it now with the new baby.

The other side of twisting and bending is the manipulation of your own body to catch them so they don't fall. It's the twist to get their shoes on or their diapers off. It's also the movement and turning to feed them. It's really funny to see them squirm and turn away when begin to do it. Then, its like bending and twisting to get them to eat. Some. Thing! How many of you are going through this or remember what it was like? I hope you and your body get some rest this year! If anything this teaches us to be flexible, no?

Repeat because kid is tuned out, eat chips for dinner, don't notice me, littlest effort as possible
Ok with my teen there are a different set of challenges and I would wager to say that this ranges from kid to kid and in no way represents teens. What's up with mine? He is excelling in school and shared a moment that made me proud. I'll come back to that.

Repeat, force,
Lately the challenge has been repeating myself and getting him to listen. I think this is a really tough time because with my teen he's big! But he's still a kid so I have to remind him to do things like be quiet so his sister can nap, close the bathroom door so she doesn't throw stuff into the toilet, etc. Beyond that its the normal stuff like washing dishes, greeting people, and the almighty screens. I have relaxed my rules on screens but I still feel like they still need guidance. It is so easy to spend an entire day staring at one as we as adults know this. It's also easy to forget about real life friends, nature, going to events, and socializing. And I feel like I have to keep trying to reinforce this. Even if it means I am not his favorite person because I made him go outside.

What else? I'm noticing just how much responsibility and pressure is placed on girls and young women versus the freedom to chill and just play that boys have. This is a broad generalization but I see things my mom or family let me do like waiting to make plans, not cooking, or not planning. Planning is such a big one. So, while I don't want to force him to do too much before he's ready I am encouraging him to make plans ahead of time and trying to teach him to cook because he'd eat an entire bag of chips for dinner if I let him.

One things for sure, big brother loves little sister and she is fascinated by him.

That's it. What parenting things are happening for you? Fails and triumphs welcome.
Daddy thoughts 18- Reset button 

Podcast Interview- Papa Culture Pod!

Yo! Been listening to this laid back podcast run by two fathers. They talk about hip hop, sports, pop culture, dad fails, and dad triumphs! I was lucky enough to be a guest on their show. Check it out on Itunes, Stitcher, or whatever podcast app you listen to. 

Here is the link if you want to listen to it on your desktop. LINK

If you'd like to hear another interview check out The Stoop Podcast where I talked about Black Hair and kids books.

Character Collage (7) 2017-2018

Here is my 7th annual collage of character's, this time with some typography that I felt went with the feeling. For this year I wanted to go with a theme for once and might play with that again. The theme? Analog sound! I wanted to remember what it was like as a kid to listen to hip hop, soul, jazz, funk, etc. And I'm also thinking of young kids and parents trying to introduce their kids to music.

1. Digging- Young sis digging for 45's 2. Youth Sound-Sis wearing the headphones 3. Walkman-Turn up the bass boost 4. Boombox-Tapes & the box 5. Play that Beat - type! 6. Percussion-Drum & banner 7. Headphones - meditate w/ sound 8. Listening- next to the record player 9.  VINYL - Type 10. Dad's - who dig 11. Stereo-Remember this? 12. Turn it up!-Type 13. Lyrics - still matter 14. Speakers -Paying dues 

You can see the previous years here too: 

2016-2017

2015-2016

2014-2015

2013-2014

2012-2013

2009-2012

If you are interested in more information about any of the characters or type in particular, or a print just email me at info@robdontstop.com

Photos: Me & my daughter by Kristen Murakoshi

These are some of the beautiful shots taken by photographer Kristen Murakoshi of my baby girl. Kristen is a dope artist currently taking sessions for families, babies, weddings, and special occasions. Please go check out her portfolio and sign up for her newsletter.

KRISTEN MURAKOSHI

Character 145 - Dad's who dig

This one is for my Dads or fathers who dig, especially my vinyl junkies. I took my son to the record store a few times and although he wasn't as excited as I was, I'm happy I got to do that. I will leave my records for him one day. Is there a record that comes to mind when you first started digging? Did your parents take you to look for music at record store, swap meet, convention, or thrift store? Who is a dad you know of that still digs? You want a print of this?

The LP the dad is holding is a remix of the record "TAXI" by Sly & Robbie; a record I grew up hearing in the house.

Daddy thoughts 15 - Me too/ Patriarchy

Ok, got to get some stuff off of my chest. My name is Robert Liu-Trujillo. I'm a 38 year old cis-gender man, husband, father, and I’ve been writing about my experience as a Dad /parent for several years now (My son is 13). The mistakes, the screw ups, the great times, and more. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately , but that Junot article recently made me think I should share this. I’ve spoken to my son about consent, sex, and respecting women and this will be an on-going conversation. I also spoke to my wife about the sadness this experience brings up for me and for male dominance/ patriarchy that is in me and others. I am complicit and have played a part in it.

Ever since the “MeToo” movement started I have been reading articles, testimonies, and experiences. I have been denouncing things on social media here and there and having an on going conversation with my wife and my son. I have been battling with the thought that I am not free from this criticism. As much as I’d like to be forgiven (selfish) for behavior that is what women are calling out, it is not about me. It’s about changing how people treat one another, specifically how men and boys treat women an/or female identifying folks. Its about teaching my son and the next generation that consent, respect, and standing up for women is hella important. And if young boys don’t hear it from us they’ll think it doesn’t matter and that if the person in question is not their girl,mom, or sister, they don’t matter.  This is about harassment by words, touching, violent behavior with words or domestic abuse, rape, abuse of power, and saying nothing when someone else does this.

So here are a couple of experiences.

As a boy, maybe 9 or 10, I listened to a much older group of men (some family, some not) talk about a time when they were out drinking, hanging out with girls. Partying, all that. They described getting so faded that some of them passed out and some went home. Some of the girls stayed with them at their spot or hotel (can’t remember) and some went home. One of the dudes describes how the next morning a girl says to him “did you penetrate (&*%#) me last night?”. He laughs, pauses and says no. She then says why is my vagina (&*$%^) sore then?” and all the guys start laughing, cracking up. I don't remember laughing. I was trying to put two and two together because although I was taught about sex from a very early age I hadn't had any very few sexual experiences. I understood that this was wrong. I didn’t know if the girl in question was his girlfriend or not, if they did that regularly or not, etc.  But that does not matter. I just remember thinking, that’s fucked up. It sounds like rape. I wish I as a child had the courage and the words to say “fuck that, that is wrong!.” But I just stood there (Enabling or approving of behavior can be silent). I have not heard another guy say this to me as an adult or an adolescent but I’m pretty sure some guys have said this and this is a point where we can say, “NO, what you’re saying or doing is wrong”. It ain’t about “if that was my sister, or mom, or cousin I’d…..”. No it’s about all women. ALL women and female indentifying people. All of them deserve to be treated with respect. Guys, what do you think about this? Be honest.

Now, something I did as a 20 something. I once went home with a young woman. We hung out, talked, and I told her I was attracted to her and that I liked her. I was super nervous, she probably was too. She told me she liked me as well. We kissed and made out. At the end of the night we had sex, protected. We even had sex again on another day after this encounter. But, in looking at what women and some men are saying about honest self-reflection, and self-criticism I don’t think she enjoyed it. And I don’t mean, having an orgasm (Guys often cum, she sometimes cum’s) . I mean, the first time she “allowed” me to. And to be straight up I’ve heard a lot of women say that they have done this too. Allowed. Either, because they felt pressured to, they feared for their safety, embarrassed, or some other reason. Now, I did not threaten her physically or verbally, or try to embarrass her but I think she felt pressured by me. The second time we had sex (after that) she wanted to know what we “were” (relationship?) and was clearly interested in more than just sex. I had just recently gotten out of a long relationship and told her that after thinking about it; I enjoyed time with her but just wanted to remain friends. And we did, we corresponded as friends after. But, in thinking about consent, reading body language, and just taking things slower for christ’s sake I regret doing that. That’s some punk ass shit if I’m being honest with myself. I did that. Guys, have you done this? Be honest. Edit: June 2018- I've since spoken to this young lady and apologized. She did not feel it was warranted or necessary, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wished I'd have taken things slower, done thing differently. 

Ever since the call outs began I found myself really happy that it was happening and I also started to critique myself. How have I contributed to this behavior women and female identifying folks are coming forward with? How have I done something fucked up? How can I make it better? In the past, if I did something knowingly I apologized to that person and tried to right that wrong by reflecting on it and trying to change my behavior. But I’m asking boys, guys, and myself to reflect on what women and female indentified folks are saying. And inspect your own behavior, not only towards women but towards other men and boys (whole other part of this conversation) I believe the calls of Me Too whether you believe they are serious or trivial are all relevant and that we as guys, boys, or male identified persons need to be introspective. We need to take it in and honestly think about it and how we may have contributed.

Women are speaking up and we need to listen and we (I) need to unlearn any patriarchal, macho, male dominant, dismissive behavior and teach both our sons, daughters, and gender non conforming kids to call it out. It is oppressive and unhealthy for people of all genders and for the next generation. In speaking to guys or boys - I’m talking about self proclaimed nice guys, jerks, allies, women haters, authors, husbands, boyfriends, brothers, movie studio owners, rappers, actors, business men, students, to the damn president of the United States. Are you paying attention? Can you call it out in you and others? What has struck a cord with you?

Guys, there has been a lot of women who’ve come forward and shared a story. Who do you know who is male who has come forward sharing theirs in some way who is a guy/male? I will read it and read it with my son. I think we have only just begun to see the stories and that although it may be uncomfortable it is necessary. And my next question is one many women have been asking, once folks have come forward and shared all of it, how do we heal from this? Do we throw these men away? Do we call them in? Thoughts?

If you haven't seen these films yet guys check em out and study them. I'm in them. We are in them.
-Beyond Beats and Rhymes
-The Feminist on Block Y
-I also heard "The Mask you live in"  is a good flick too

info@robdontstop.com

Urban Dads- Dad groups

This is a really touching video, so inspiring to see. Great to see groups like this, Fathers Incorporated (ATL), Black Men Smile(ATL), Fathers Corps (Bay Area), and others doing the work.

Daddy Thoughts 13- Armor & Loops

It’s hard to predict the level of protectiveness I would feel as a parent before this child was here. Actually it is hard to imagine the level of protectiveness I’ll feel with each developmental change. I think one of the things that amazed me so much when I became a dad was the level of fragility I felt. I wanted to shield and protect. I realized there was so much destructiveness in this world. 

Kids are vulnerable to a lot with or without a guardian. Some of the danger we can control like a broken glass bottle in their path, or skipping a film you know is R rated.  But some experiences we can’t even see. Humiliation, betrayal, or hurt feelings; how do you prepare a kid for that? I mean, you can prep them. Give them a pep talk. But there really is no way to learn how to cope with tough issues until you face them. So, many times recently because of a change in my co-parenting plan (involving him living away from me) I have felt an ever growing urge to arm my son. I mean physically and mentally arm him. Like Neo in the Matrix! I wish I could download kung fu, conflict resolution, or cooking lessons on fried rice.

I think of putting all the necessary items in his backpack before he embarks on a journey. And yet I can’t. I can prepare him a little, but I can’t give him armor so that the harsh blows of reality wont stun him too much. As a guardian or parent, have you ever felt this way? Like you’re not giving a child enough to equip them for this thing called life? What is something you wish your parents had given you?

At least I can say I started the downloading of martial arts. I enrolled him in a kung fu class and as evil as it sounds, I can’t wait til’ he starts sparring and gets whacked, and hits back in a safe environment.

Side note: Lately this child has been a human tape recorder, pausing and replaying things. Rewinding and repeating phrases and sounds. From old vine and You-Tube videos, commercials, to black musicians’ declarations appropriated by the internet. He’ll say the same phrase over and over again until I have to say in Spanish “stop”, ”no more”, “enough”! Lord knows I hate to crush the boy’s creativity but sometimes I need quiet. Strangely enough when they leave you, you find yourself saying the very things that annoyed you or longing for their voice.

Rad Families

Hey parents and folks who know parents to be the new anthology of Rad Dads, moms, and parents edited by the founder of Rad Dad Tomas Moniz. I'm happy to be a part of this book and to hold space with other parents when talking about the love, struggles, and strife. It features joints I've seen from the Rad Dad magazine and other pieces from zines. You can cop the book here at PM Press.

Here is some more info about the book:

Rad Families: A Celebration honors the messy, the painful, the playful, the beautiful, the myriad ways we create families. This is not an anthology of experts, or how-to articles on perfect parenting; it often doesn’t even try to provide answers. Instead, the writers strive to be honest and vulnerable in sharing their stories and experiences, their failures and their regrets.

Gathering parents and writers from diverse communities, it explores the process of getting pregnant from trans birth to adoption, grapples with issues of racism and police brutality, probes raising feminists and feminist parenting. It plumbs the depths of empty nesting and letting go.

Some contributors are recognizable authors and activists but most are everyday parents working and loving and trying to build a better world one diaper change at a time. It’s a book that reminds us all that we are not alone, that community can help us get through the difficulties, can, in fact, make us better people. It’s a celebration, join us!

Contributors include Jonas Cannon, Ian MacKaye, Burke Stansbury, Danny Goot, Simon Knaphus, Artnoose, Welch Canavan, Daniel Muro LaMere, Jennifer Lewis, Zach Ellis, Alicia Dornadic, Jesse Palmer, Mindi J., Carla Bergman, Tasnim Nathoo, Rachel Galindo, Robert Liu-Trujillo, Dawn Caprice, Shawn Taylor, D.A. Begay, Philana Dollin, Airial Clark, Allison Wolfe, Roger Porter, cubbie rowland-storm, Annakai & Rob Geshlider, Jeremy Adam Smith, Frances Hardinge, Jonathan Shipley, Bronwyn Davies Glover, Amy Abugo Ongiri, Mike Araujo, Craig Elliott, Eleanor Wohlfeiler, Scott Hoshida, Plinio Hernandez, Madison Young, Nathan Torp, Sasha Vodnik, Jessie Susannah, Krista Lee Hanson, Carvell Wallace, Dani Burlison, Brian Whitman, scott winn, Kermit Playfoot, Chris Crass, and Zora Moniz.

Editor: Tomas Moniz • Foreword by Ariel Gore
Publisher: PM Press
ISBN: 978-1-62963-230-8
Published: 10/01/2016
Format: Paperback
Size: 8x5
Page count: 296
Subjects: Family-Relationships

Daddy thoughts 12- Best friends or strangers

Its been over a year since I wrote one of these and its good to be back.  So much has happened in my child's life, my co-parenting agreement with his mother, etc. But, this one is about what happens when friends change and become strangers or worse yet; enemies. I heard my son getting a lot of advice from his mom on the phone. So I gently pressed him to talk if he wanted to. We had a conversation about a feeling I remember all to well. When somehow someone you were cool with or was really good friends with decides they're not going to sit with you anymore or that they don't like you now.

Awwwww man, I know this feeling. It sucks. He did nothing wrong. Kids joke around and all, but it doesn't seem he did anything to this kid. He went on to say that the kid was no longer laughing at his jokes, but rather he was dissing him. He went on to describe what sounded all too familiar for junior high school or high school. I tried to explain to him that for whatever reason kids change. Sometimes its hormones or something unseen. I tried to ask him if he'd noticed that some of the girls were starting to change externally by different parts of their bodies growing (he told me he tried not to notice that) and that boys are doing that as well; on the inside and out. I told him that he would change too, but that he didn't have to be mean to anyone. Not mean, like his friend. I didn't offer it as an excuse, but more of a factor in the strange behavior he was experiencing.

This is so tough and whether you're a parent or not, most of us have had this experience. It's a hard time when kids are starting to reach their teens and they start to become aware of themselves and as a result get very self conscious. I know I did. I remember kids who were cool, doing 180's and acting like complete assholes. I'm lucky that he has not had to get into as many physical fights as I had by the time I was his age. But it still sucks.

I told my son a story about how just one or two things said to me by one of my best friends broke my heart. I didn't get to the pivotal point in my life when i changed "crowds" in high school, too painful. But, after i listened to him I shared the story with him. I'd had a friend who i'll call Tae. He was my best friend. He was tough and wasn't scared of no one! I was, and it showed. I fought, every did. You kind of had to, but if i could avoid it, I would. Sometimes he would stick up for me just by simply kicking it. But this one time we were playing kickball and I totally fumbled a ball that came straight to me in the outfield. My best friend grimaced because he wanted to win so bad and cursed and yelled across the field at me calling me "sorry". For those who aren't hip, that means weak, slow, or just less than. Anyway, I held it together for the rest of the day but cried when I got home. I got advice from my dad and his then fiance. The next day it was like my best friend had totally forgot about it. I hadn't. but I was also too scared to confront him, I mean shit I was only 10!

I shared this with my son to tell him I had been through something similar. Not the same of course. But, that I felt terrible and confused. And that I wished I'd told him how I felt. I encouraged him to share how he felt with his homie who was acting weird. I made sure I told him I'd cried because I wanted him to know that I cry, I get vulnerable, I have feelings, and it's ok to share those. I told him that he should let his friend know that he's down to be his friend, but that he should also demand respect and only kick it with those who were kind to him. If this kid was going to be mean, than he should let him know how he felt and keep it moving. What would you say to yours or what have you said to a young child about something like this?

Sidenote: He's getting to the age where young boys are looking for rites of passage. And one of the most visible ways to show others that you are becoming a young man is to fight or punk another boy. Even though I believe in solving disagreements non-violently, I HAVE TO teach him to fight, to defend himself.

Divided Time documentary

Preview Trailer - "Divided Time" from Will F on Vimeo.
Just watched this great documentary in Oakland yesterday at the 7th annual "Fist Up Film Festival"

Play-Well Teknologies! (For kids)

Hey parents, please be on the look out for this organization that teaches engineering skills to girls, boys, and gender non conforming students all across the US using LEGO's!! I took my son to one of their workshops a year ago and invited them to his school science & wonder fair and the kids loved it. The organization holds workshops, classes, summer camps, birthday parties and more. Please check them out.

http://www.play-well.org/

Daddy Thoughts 11- First pair of Jordan's?

Ok before I talk about the Jordan’s let me just say that ads, advertisements and the idea that a product brings you value, status, or worth is still very prevalent. I mean, you can hear it in the rhymes of young people. When they (male rappers) brag about what it is or what makes them cool its often one or all of three things ; money, objects, and women (as if women were an object too, no?). Violent attitude too, but thats for another discussion.

The reason I bring this up is because my son came to me the other day talking about “what are those” . Parents if you’re not up on the lingo, Vine videos are viral comedy skits, dance, or phrases that kids envelop into their daily vernacular or speech. “What are those” refers to shoes mostly. Its an old thing, transformed to a new generation. Basically are your shoes a part of the normal or fashionable cannon of shoes( Don't be an outcast)? Or are they very expensive and highly sought after? NOT, are they unique (Be a Sheep!)? NOT are they made by you or someone in your extended family? And that folks, frustrates me.

I get Capitalism, I get Consumerism, I understand Imperialism, and all of that. But, I was surprised when my son basically said they make jokes on each other about each others shoes. Like, damn! That’s what I was doing at his age, lol. I should not be surprised, I should not have been caught off guard. But I was. Imagine them saying my shoes cost more than your whole outfit argument.

I sat my son down and reiterated the idea of “propaganda”. Whenever we have watched television together, I have muttered or shouted the word propaganda when a commercial comes on. Why? I wanted him to associate the word with commercials. I want him to question what they are selling him. I want him to think!! I do not want him to be a blind consumer, a cow being lead to the slaughter, or a child who feels his worth is tied into his sneakers. But damn, there it is again, generation after generation we (boys, girls, transgender kids) are sold the idea that we are less than. We are told we are poor. We are told that if we want to achieve status in this society, we must purchase. Could be a Lamborgini, a chain of diamonds and gold, the most expensive I-phone whatever (Coltan-Congo), or a pair of Michael Jordan shoes.

I’m pissed that kids still cap, diss, bag, or talk shit to each other this way, so I also told my son that his worth does not come from his shoes, it comes from inside. His morals, his actions, how he treats himself and others. I also told him that whether a person’s parent paid $150 for a pair of shoes or $20 they did the best they could and that they aren’t any less important in this world. He of course said “Daddy, were just joking!” But on the real, that is how doubt, self worth, and depression cured by American Dream gets started in an 11 year old. I should know, I thought the same about guess jeans, owning records, toys, cars, guns, etc.

Now back to the Jordan’s. He tells me, “Daddy, I think I know what I want for Christmas” . Christmas, as in “buy 3^rd world manufactured shit that the corporations turn a 300% profit on” day. So I said in Spanish, “Ok, pues dime. Que quieres mijo?” And he says Jordan’s!! I had to smile because I started wanted certain types of shoes at 9 years old. My dilemma is that those shoes were designed by talented people such as Tinker Hatfield and damn they are fly. But you know I had to break down the numbers for him by telling him that those shoes cost $6 or $7 to make, and they sell them for $100-$200 depending on which number you get. I was proud in a sense though, because as twisted as it sounds it is part of Black Culture (being sold over priced shoes) , and scared at the same time.  Think of Buggin Out and Police Brutality in “Do the RightThing”.

So, I said NO! He said “ I thought you might say that”. He knows his dad. Then , he went on to ell me he wanted Run DMC shoes, to which his mom asked “do you know what he’s talking about?”. I explained of course. But all my old school hip hop fans know right? What do you think? Shell toes cost $60-70 now (also a rip off). But what would you say to your child? What would you allow or not allow? In terms of fighting the good fight, revolutionary change, how does that fit in? Leave a comment. Did you ever have a parent or political activist break down shoes and how much they charge? Who? When?

-Rob (Dad)