Short story 23 - Record store

On Sunday Papa and I walked to the record store. I never seen him so happy to go to a store before. He kept whistling and smiling. Then he turned to me and said 

 "When I was a kid, your Grandpa would bring me here. It's like a library of sounds from all over the world!". 

This illustration of a father and son walking is special because Amoeba Records in Berkeley was and still is a haven for weird sound lovers like me. I walked there from Berkeley High at lunch weekly looking for new and old hip hop records, samples, drum breaks, and jazz albums. It is a cultural landmark. And although I've been to the SF and LA locations, Berkeley is home. Go if you haven't been recently and see what you can find to pull you away from your screen. Have you been to Amoeba in Berkeley? What's the last thing you bought there?

It has been almost 4 years since I completed a "short story". And i've worked on so many children's books and art projects since then which is part of why I paused them. I started working on these to practice my writing and illustration. 

Wanna see more?

Short story 22- Genesis

Short story 21-Afternoon dancer

Want a print of this?

Daddy thoughts 15 - Me too/ Patriarchy

Ok, got to get some stuff off of my chest. My name is Robert Liu-Trujillo. I'm a 38 year old cis-gender man, husband, father, and I’ve been writing about my experience as a Dad /parent for several years now (My son is 13). The mistakes, the screw ups, the great times, and more. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately , but that Junot article recently made me think I should share this. I’ve spoken to my son about consent, sex, and respecting women and this will be an on-going conversation. I also spoke to my wife about the sadness this experience brings up for me and for male dominance/ patriarchy that is in me and others. I am complicit and have played a part in it.

Ever since the “MeToo” movement started I have been reading articles, testimonies, and experiences. I have been denouncing things on social media here and there and having an on going conversation with my wife and my son. I have been battling with the thought that I am not free from this criticism. As much as I’d like to be forgiven (selfish) for behavior that is what women are calling out, it is not about me. It’s about changing how people treat one another, specifically how men and boys treat women an/or female identifying folks. Its about teaching my son and the next generation that consent, respect, and standing up for women is hella important. And if young boys don’t hear it from us they’ll think it doesn’t matter and that if the person in question is not their girl,mom, or sister, they don’t matter.  This is about harassment by words, touching, violent behavior with words or domestic abuse, rape, abuse of power, and saying nothing when someone else does this.

So here are a couple of experiences.

As a boy, maybe 9 or 10, I listened to a much older group of men (some family, some not) talk about a time when they were out drinking, hanging out with girls. Partying, all that. They described getting so faded that some of them passed out and some went home. Some of the girls stayed with them at their spot or hotel (can’t remember) and some went home. One of the dudes describes how the next morning a girl says to him “did you penetrate (&*%#) me last night?”. He laughs, pauses and says no. She then says why is my vagina (&*$%^) sore then?” and all the guys start laughing, cracking up. I don't remember laughing. I was trying to put two and two together because although I was taught about sex from a very early age I hadn't had any very few sexual experiences. I understood that this was wrong. I didn’t know if the girl in question was his girlfriend or not, if they did that regularly or not, etc.  But that does not matter. I just remember thinking, that’s fucked up. It sounds like rape. I wish I as a child had the courage and the words to say “fuck that, that is wrong!.” But I just stood there (Enabling or approving of behavior can be silent). I have not heard another guy say this to me as an adult or an adolescent but I’m pretty sure some guys have said this and this is a point where we can say, “NO, what you’re saying or doing is wrong”. It ain’t about “if that was my sister, or mom, or cousin I’d…..”. No it’s about all women. ALL women and female indentifying people. All of them deserve to be treated with respect. Guys, what do you think about this? Be honest.

Now, something I did as a 20 something. I once went home with a young woman. We hung out, talked, and I told her I was attracted to her and that I liked her. I was super nervous, she probably was too. She told me she liked me as well. We kissed and made out. At the end of the night we had sex, protected. We even had sex again on another day after this encounter. But, in looking at what women and some men are saying about honest self-reflection, and self-criticism I don’t think she enjoyed it. And I don’t mean, having an orgasm (Guys often cum, she sometimes cum’s) . I mean, the first time she “allowed” me to. And to be straight up I’ve heard a lot of women say that they have done this too. Allowed. Either, because they felt pressured to, they feared for their safety, embarrassed, or some other reason. Now, I did not threaten her physically or verbally, or try to embarrass her but I think she felt pressured by me. The second time we had sex (after that) she wanted to know what we “were” (relationship?) and was clearly interested in more than just sex. I had just recently gotten out of a long relationship and told her that after thinking about it; I enjoyed time with her but just wanted to remain friends. And we did, we corresponded as friends after. But, in thinking about consent, reading body language, and just taking things slower for christ’s sake I regret doing that. That’s some punk ass shit if I’m being honest with myself. I did that. Guys, have you done this? Be honest. Edit: June 2018- I've since spoken to this young lady and apologized. She did not feel it was warranted or necessary, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wished I'd have taken things slower, done thing differently. 

Ever since the call outs began I found myself really happy that it was happening and I also started to critique myself. How have I contributed to this behavior women and female identifying folks are coming forward with? How have I done something fucked up? How can I make it better? In the past, if I did something knowingly I apologized to that person and tried to right that wrong by reflecting on it and trying to change my behavior. But I’m asking boys, guys, and myself to reflect on what women and female indentified folks are saying. And inspect your own behavior, not only towards women but towards other men and boys (whole other part of this conversation) I believe the calls of Me Too whether you believe they are serious or trivial are all relevant and that we as guys, boys, or male identified persons need to be introspective. We need to take it in and honestly think about it and how we may have contributed.

Women are speaking up and we need to listen and we (I) need to unlearn any patriarchal, macho, male dominant, dismissive behavior and teach both our sons, daughters, and gender non conforming kids to call it out. It is oppressive and unhealthy for people of all genders and for the next generation. In speaking to guys or boys - I’m talking about self proclaimed nice guys, jerks, allies, women haters, authors, husbands, boyfriends, brothers, movie studio owners, rappers, actors, business men, students, to the damn president of the United States. Are you paying attention? Can you call it out in you and others? What has struck a cord with you?

Guys, there has been a lot of women who’ve come forward and shared a story. Who do you know who is male who has come forward sharing theirs in some way who is a guy/male? I will read it and read it with my son. I think we have only just begun to see the stories and that although it may be uncomfortable it is necessary. And my next question is one many women have been asking, once folks have come forward and shared all of it, how do we heal from this? Do we throw these men away? Do we call them in? Thoughts?

If you haven't seen these films yet guys check em out and study them. I'm in them. We are in them.
-Beyond Beats and Rhymes
-The Feminist on Block Y
-I also heard "The Mask you live in"  is a good flick too

info@robdontstop.com

Urban Dads- Dad groups

This is a really touching video, so inspiring to see. Great to see groups like this, Fathers Incorporated (ATL), Black Men Smile(ATL), Fathers Corps (Bay Area), and others doing the work.

Baba's- Benefits of reading to your kids

Yooo, such a good article about the benefits of reading with your kids. It could be comics, zines, graphic novels, magazines, don't matter just read and peep this article LINK

Furqan's First Flattop UPDATE 3

Hey folks, for those who gave and supported the Furqan's First Flat Top book project, theres is a new update up on the Kickstarter site and should have been sent out to all you backers. Thank you for your continued patience and support. The paintings are done and you'll see three of them there. Peep a snippet from spread 3 here.. The artwork has been passed on to Swash Design studio for layout, stay tuned...

Rad Dad mag is out!

You've been waiting for this last magazine issue of Rad Dad Magazine? Here it go, if you didnt cop one, support that. If you already got the message, think of a young father who don't know yet. We fathers have to converse, chop it up, share wisdom, and just relate so we can raise these babies right.

LINK

Character 91- Father, Son, & Fear

Do people understand what Black fathers, Black women, Black trans folks, etc feel like when they walk outside? 

Rad Dad 1- Magazine re-launch

Feliz año nuevo to every one. Hey folks, I will be attending this event in San Francisco at Adobe Books (7pm-9pm) on February 6th to help promote and celebrate the release/re-launch of the new Rad Dad Magazine (alongside Hip Mama) which I will be playing a small artistic/dad role in. If you are not familiar with it, here are some basics. 

Rad Dad was founded in 2005 by Tomas Moniz to celebrate great fathers and to connect them. It talks about parents of color, teen fathers, low income dads, sex, relationships, anger, love, drugs, activists, teenagers, little kids, queer fathers, new dads, even some cool moms. Until recently, it was written, copied, printed, and stapled by hand. Now it will be turned into a full fledged magazine. And it is a freaking wonderful place to look when you are a new dad or an experienced one. Because, if things are tough as a parent single or not, who do you go to for advice? How do you release your feelings?

Too many times in the past us brothers have been reluctant to talk to each other. But like many awesome moms, we can create open spaces for talking, venting, expressing feelings, and just plain old relating. There are other fathers out there who may be going through the same experience as you. And it is helpful to know that. It's helpful, not just for your own sanity and mental health, but that of your family's. Rad Dad has published over 20 issues dealing with some of the issues I mentioned above and I read it. I loved it and that is why I contribute so I can learn, grow, and become a better father.

If you are not in the Bay Area , but would like to get a copy of the past zines, or participate in the new ones please contact me at info@robdontstop.com. As a small part of the team, I'm looking for cool dads to talk to so holler if you hear me. Here's to a new year of love, patience, hard work, and persistence. It has only just begun.

Rad Dad has been distributed by Microcosm Publishing and has been sold at zine distros and and small independent stores all across the US from California to New York City. 
-Rob

A compilation of past issues is available on AmazonAnd if you recall, I posted about the Indiegogo campaign they started last year to relaunch the zine into a magazine.
You can keep up with the site here: http://raddadzine.blogspot.com