8.4.19

Daddy thoughts 18 - Reset button

Hey readers, thanks for continuing to read my thoughts on fatherhood. I last left off at "Brand New Daughter" and have been thinking about how different things are this time around.

Starting over: 
As a new dad again I feel in some ways like I'm starting over. I have a lot of knowledge and experience but also so much to learn still and the feels rather humbling. I did not intend to have such a big break in between children but life had other plans. After my son's mother and I split I realized I needed to date as an adult. I needed to go out and experience some things I hadn't as a young father. When I had my son I was only 24 years old. I was a boy myself! Now I'm a grown man with a newborn and a teenager. And this time although I don't own a home or have all of my finances worked out I feel like I know what to do.

Girl colors: 
My daughter's personality is different from my son's of course. He was often very serious as a baby unless you tickled him. And my daughter smiles all the time. One thing I've noticed again which I'm sorry to say is still such as thing is gendered colors. It is almost automatic to get clothes that are pink. Pink is a beautiful color but it sucks that this is the only marker that says female child. Why can't boys wear pink? I dress my daughter in all sorts of colors and have asked many relatives not to buy her pink clothes. I . don't hate the color. Just the idea that it means "girl" to folks. It's funny, often times I dress her in grey's and people will say "he's" so handsome or cute. Sometimes I correct them, and sometimes I marvel at how engrained we all are. Me included.

New parental improvements: 
There are some new parental improvements that I see. For one, all of the clothes I remember had plain colors or one loud image on them like a car or a pony. Now, I see much more variety in children's clothing. My wife and I have been blessed to get lots of hand me downs from friends, my god daughter, and other kids. And I see a huge improvement in kids clothing styles. Not only that, but diaper bags, bibs, place mats, etc all have gotten stylistically much better looking. The strollers are more hardcore. I remember the fancy off road strollers that you often see parents pushing and running with were astronomically expensive. There still are pricy strollers, but some of the advancements have been made more affordable. One thing tat is slightly better but still needs improvements are changing tables in men's bathrooms. When my son was a baby I always had a tough time trying to find a changing table in the bathroom. Often , I'd find a corner and change him on the floor.

Staying home: 
Right now, I am the stay at home dad. I work as a freelancer so I would be at home anyway. But my wife went back to work and is the breadwinner for our family. I feel happy to be able to take care of my daughter and record her new tricks for Mama. But, I also wish I made more money so my wife could stay home with her. Either way, it has meant more than just caring for our daughter. It has meant trying to have dinner ready, wash the mountains of kid laundry, or clean up the whirlwind of our house. All stuff women have done for ages.

Memory:
I've found that there are certain memories that come back to me about my son when he was a baby. The things he used to do. And so many times I cannot remember a certain thing he did or said and that frustrates the hell out of me. I wish my memory was better.

Anyways, thats it for now. Just some reflections on being a dad again. If you missed it, I got to speak with a dad on this podcast! Stay tuned....

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