Daddy Thoughts 1: A Fathers Day thought
To quote brother Qtip "I think i gotta, I think I gotta , I think i gotta SCREAM! Cuz that's how good it feels" Everyday I'm grateful for my Saja (Dancing Lion) and his momma Núa Puma.
I remember I used to laugh when my mom got all mushy about her love for me. But I overstand now and couldn't imagine life w/o my son. It is truly a blessing and a "gift" because I sincerely believe our children "choose" their parents. I'm not religious, but I believe "energy" whether positive or negative, never dies. It only changes form.
To watch life through my son's eyes, to see what they see, to teach, protect them, to be bound to them by need, choice, and sincere love... But most importantly to learn from them is transformative. It changes you. My son was born when I was only a boy, but it changed me. On this day, I should be thanking him and giving him a "child's day card",lol....
There are times when I'm unsure about how and when i will fight back against society's social ills, then I remember to do whatever I can to raise my son and be a part of his life, and to have him be a part of my life. Together our intentions and jokes and laughter can change the world, starting with our relationship, together.
I think about all the babies who lost their fathers due to death, imprisonment, or worse. I think of all the brothers I know and knew who had a horrible relationship with their fathers if they had a relationship with them at all. I think about all the young men/boys I see starting fights, spitting, talking about shooting somebody or pretending to shoot, putting any and everyone (especially other men) down, cussin' to show just how "hard" they are. When really it would be fresh just to hear a man say "I love you". "I care about you", "I'm proud of you", "you mean the world to me", "I'd do anything for you, anything".
Folks, it will be a revolutionary day when men from all cultures can openly express their love, gratitude, patience, respect, and compassion for one another. Then at the same time, show that love to the women who are our sisters, mothers, lovers, friends, relatives, or to women we don't even know. All this without an engineered and hammered in mental block that says our minds and bodies must live within someone's tiny perameters of what a "man" is.
Brothers, we got a lot of work to do. Part of why shit is so fucked up is because a lack of being raised and bathed in love. A lack of presence and guidance. I could go on, but you get the point. I'm hella not perfect, I'm constantly making mistakes as a man and as a father. I've had a rough relationship with my dad at times, as he did with his dad. But I have him and my stepdad to thank along with so many other men in my family and my life for teaching me to walk with pride and to see the world just a little bit different-although they make mistakes they are still here in my life trying their hardest. And I appreciate that shit, I appreciate them.
Today on fathers day, me, my son, and his mom shared food, desert ( my favorite part!), time, hugs, and the Miami heat vs OKC game. I could do with out basketball, but it is the time I always cherish. Although we have not been "together" for years; me and my son's mom raise our child together through rough and smooth roads. Shout out to the mothers who carry the work of two parents!
To all the dads out there, lets all try to remember to give our mothers as much love and props as they give us. So much love and respect to the men in my life for your fatherly advice, praise, grace, and persistence to rise no matter how many times society attempts to knock us back down! Happy Father's Day! Enjoy your babies smiles, they will change the world, as they have changed us.
My Dad and my son (4 mo's old)